Safe Space

I have anxiety. I always have and I always will. Have. ANXIETY. It’s not the normal nervous kind of anxiety before an important test or speech. I actually handle those situations quite well. It’s the ‘wash my hands an even number of times after touching the bathroom doorknob or my family will perish’ crazy kind of anxiety. It. Doesn’t. Go. Away.

I’m 28 and I still have panic attacks, but I’m learning how to deal with them. I have to process my emotions in a safe space. I have moved at least once every year since I left my parents’ house and in every new location I have to set up a new quiet space. For me, this means a comfy chair in a peaceful room with a lot of natural light.

This is my current safe space and my favorite yet…

I like it because there’s only one chair. Bill knows that when I’m sitting in that chair, I am reflecting, reading, or watching Pretty Little Liars. And before you start... don’t even hate on PLL! It always brings back some of my favorite childhood memories. When I watch it, I remember going to my elderly neighbors’ house to watch Murder She Wrote. Monie would always give me a scoop of Rainbow Sherbet on a sugar cone. Sometimes she would lick the scoop and her tongue would stick. She resolved the issue by running some warm water and would stick her mouth under the faucet until the scoop unfroze. We would move to the living room to play solitaire until it was time for Jessica Fletcher to solve her next crime. I usually sat on the floor next to George’s recliner because I liked how he smelled like the cherry pipe tobacco that he smoked outside. I always wanted a chair that was all mine. Now that I have one, I sometimes close my eyes and can smell the tobacco and taste that last bite of ice cream cone.