It is
a rare occasion that a Facebook post will deeply move me. It happened today.
Over
the past few years, I have been thinking a lot about navigating the social
boundaries of others and how to communicate my own personal boundary
expectations. Throughout my life, I have had the pleasure of meeting a handful
of those special people with which I have had instant rapport. Those encounters
are the exception to the rule. Most of my relationships are a series of
awkward interactions until I can find common ground with a new person. As a born
introvert, I have had to work very hard to express my inner thoughts in a
verbal way. I am told that as a child I didn’t even speak to my own grandmother
until I could form full sentences. I’ve known some people to perceive me as
dumb, snobby, or meek upon first impression. These misperceptions don’t bother
me because when I do speak… I have learned that it packs more punch.
While
perusing my Facebook feed, I was drawn to an article posted by a high school acquaintance. She graduated a year
ahead of me and exhibited some of the same introvert behaviors as myself. We
were never close, but based on her social media posts, we should have been. We
did spend one week of summer camp in the same cabin, and unbeknownst to the
adolescent me, she is wicked smart and would become a talented photographer and
educator.
What
struck me most about the article was not the surface content, but the conclusions I drew
from it. Since when did it become okay to ask complete strangers deeply
personal questions?
Maybe…
I can’t have children.
Maybe…
I like cats better than humans.
Maybe…
I will never find the right ‘man’.
Maybe…
I got laid off and am waiting to find a new source of income.
Maybe…
I love something different.
Maybe…
I have a greater capacity to love than you.
I
would never casually ask an acquaintance about their divorce / family history
of mental illness / how many people they’ve slept with. How is it okay for
people to judge me based on my marriage status or lack of children? It’s one
thing to have close personal friends and family ask these questions, but when
your coworkers and casual acquaintances start giving you a sales pitch on how
to live your life, it’s time to give them the keys to the street... and do it
tonight.
Regardless
of your personal beliefs, every human soul has a unique experience. I have
known so many amazing role models in my life.
Some
are old.
Some
are young.
Some
are women.
Some
are men.
Some
have children.
Some
don’t have children.
You
can never force your own experiences on someone else. In the words of my all
time favorite naïve character, Dirk Diggler, ‘It’s just not sexy.”
Before
you ask that inappropriate question, think of what your introvert friends would
do.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n03g8nsaBro
Silence
is golden.
